i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
