whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
