Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
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