that's an acceptable place to lick
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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