The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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