Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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