i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
