when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
