I feel great
I just peed on a car
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
