oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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