Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
