I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
