I wish I could punch you in the face.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
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Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
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And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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