She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
