you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
