Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
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