My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
