so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
