Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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