i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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