Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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