anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I feel like a drive thru vagina
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
