roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
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