Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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