drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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