My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize