Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
