the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
