last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you didnt know i had herpes?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
