dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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