Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
