My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize