his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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