he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
