You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
