I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
we're making bets on your personal life
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
