and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize