I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
