My nipple is on Facebook.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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