I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
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i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
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Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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