he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
