This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
