i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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