We're facebook friends in real life
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
