Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Randomize