pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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