Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
