: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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