i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
