Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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