Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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