he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wish you could order shots online.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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