I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize