Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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