At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize