ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
