after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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