Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
