I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize