And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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