ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
