Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
