dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
